On February 28th, 2012, Starz and Netflix are breaking up and leaving Netflix Instant without all of the “Starz Play” content. Believe me, for the 3000 titles Starz has offered through this contract, less than 100 or so were actually worth watching. I will cover EVERY film I can recommend from Starz Play to give you a chance to catch them all on Netflix Instant in the next two weeks but since this list includes a couple great Nicolas Cage flicks, I MUST cover those first.
“Vampire’s Kiss”1989 - This film is honestly one of my all time favorites. Nick Cage “flawlessly” plays an elitist piece of shit literary agent who slowly goes mad thinking he is becoming a vampire and lashes out at his secretary and the general public. This film includes half of all the scenes you have seen in those “Nick Cage losing his shit” viral videos and even though Starz (fucking morons) broadcasts this in flat or “old television” format, it’s still absolutely worth watching.
This film will expire on Netflix with Starz Play on 2/28/12 so you had better check it out soon!
Fun fact for you PETA fanatics, Nick Cage eats a live cockroach for real in this film and the director had him do a second take just to watch him eat a second cockroach. Great stuff.
“Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans”2009. This film is a giant piece of shit and will not be available after 2/28/12. Directed by Werner Herzog, this film actually somehow garnered critical acclaim and some small awards. This film is absolutely terrible but Nick Cage’s performance is so amazingly over the top that it makes the entire thing comical enough to watch and actually enjoy. If you haven’t seen it, it has NOTHING to do with the Harvey Keitel “Bad Lieutenant” 1992 but does involve an out of control cop terrorizing pretty much everyone he encounters.
If you are unfamiliar with Werner Herzog, he is considered one of the world’s greatest documentary filmmakers. You can check out two of his documentary films “Encounters at the End of the World” 2007 and “Cave of Forgotten Dreams” 2010 are both currently available on Netflix instant and are actually pretty great films. If you first watch “Bad Lieutenant: P.O.C.N.O.” and then check these two docs, I guarantee your mind will be blown.
“Deadfall” 1993 this film is NOT on Starz Play but while I’m mentioning some of Nicolas Cage’s notoriously insane roles, I have to mention this one. Co-starring along Michael Biehn, Cage delivers a completely unhinged performance that many people originally blamed for this films failure.
The sad truth is, this film is TERRIBLE and not even in a pleasurable way. Directed by Cage’s real life brother Christopher Coppola, this film is almost unbearable to watch with one exception, Nick Cage. Every scene with Cage’s character is incredible, his fake voice, his screaming, his flailing about. This flick makes up a good quarter of all the scenes in those Nick Cage losing his shit videos, so between Deadfall and Vampire’s kiss you have almost the entire montage.
This film really is bad and while I normally would not recommend doing something like this, you should probably just skip ahead until you see Nick Cage’s face and back up a little and enjoy.
“Kick Ass” 2010 is also not on Starz Play but after watching Nick lose his shit in all those roles you made need to see a flick with him cooling down. While Kick Ass is not my favorite movie ever, it is a pretty funny comic book flick in which Nick Cage plays a pretty amazing character, “Big Daddy” a regular guy trying to raise his daughter while fighting crime dressed as Batman and talking like William Shatner. If you somehow missed this flick, watch it.
Here are the rest of the films I would recommend from Starz Play in no particular order:
(I am skipping the addition of any more pictures to keep the length of this post at a minimum)
“Let Me In” 2010 is the American version of the Swedish film “Let the Right One In” 2008 (also available on Netflix Instant). While I believe the Swedish version delivers an overall creepier film, the American one is almost the same exact plot and in English. For all you babies. I don’t usually recommend vampire flicks so between Vampire’s Kiss and this one, consider yourself lucky.
“Apocalypto” 2006 is Mel Gibson’s comic take on an apocalypse movie. At least it seems like a joke when the punch line hits at the end of the movie. Filmed using Maya and Mexican Native Americans speaking in their own Yucatec Maya language, subtitles are required although this film really does not have nor rely on much dialogue. This film pissed off a lot of people with it’s savage depiction of the Maya civilization and to them I would say, “Mel Gibson is no historian, he is just a racist moron that makes movies”.
“Beetlejuice” 1988 allegedly starred Alec Baldwin, Gina Davis and Winona Ryder, however, it really only stars two people. 1. Michael Keaton who proved he can play just about any character a pervert-demon-“bio-exorcist” with some unknown relation to astronomy and 2. Tim Burton who, after making “Frankenweenie” 84 and “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure” 85 somehow managed to pull Beetlejuice’s insane script off and who was obviously planning on making a career out of making weirdo films. Kudos to both.
“Young Frankenstein” 1974 is a Mel Brooks film starring Gene Wilder, what more do you need? This comic flick is a god-damned classic and if you haven’t seen it. It’s the only Frankenstein movie worth watching. It’s funny even now, 37 years later. Holy shit.
“Hellboy” 2004 is directed by Guillermo del Toro who also directed ”Cronos”, “The Devil’s Backbone”, “Blade II” and “Pan’s Labrynth” and stars Ron Perlman as Hellboy (Ron Perlman playing a monster, go figure). While this film is not perfect and I think a little soft for what a film about a spawn of Satan should be, I still find it enjoyable and Guillermo del Toro did a real decent job directing both this film and it’s sequel. I am not in to comics and can not tell you how similar it is to the source material but it is definitely a decent film.
“Twins” 1988 is fucking hilarious. Mostly because you are dealing with a retarded Arnold Swarzenegger playing a genius and the comically genius Danny DeVito playing a retarded scumbag, you really can’t lose. The film is directed by Ivan “I directed Animal House and fucking Ghostbusters” Reitman. The film is as easy to watch as Kool Aid is to drink, Kool Keith would even call this film “Slurpy” the way his mom used to make his Kool Aid. Drink up. Just to top himself, Mr. Ivan Reitman later went on to also direct Ghostbusters II AND Kindergarten Cop. FUCK YEAH.
“One Crazy Summer” 1986 is often compared to “Better off Dead”1985 because they are so similar. Probably because they were both written and directed by Savage Steve Holland and both star John Cusack. It really doesn’t matter how similar they are because they are both hilarious classics. Basically, Better Off Dead ends with a Ski race where as One Crazy Summer ends with a boat race. The good news is you only have one option on Netflix Instant so One Crazy Summer it is. Enjoy.
“Friday After Next” 2002 is the sequel to “Next Friday” which was the sequel to “Friday”. All three films were written by Ice Cube and DJ Pooh but were all made by different directors. It’s true that the only “classic” of the three is Friday but I honestly believe that Friday After Next was better than Next Friday and is at least worth watching if your bored and really stoned. Since Starz Play ends in two weeks, the only ones of you who will meet this criteria in time to watch it over these other flicks will definitely deserve it.
“Flirting With Disaster” 1996 is a film starring Ben Stiller, Patricia Arquette and Tea Leoni (I’m not putting that mark above the e in Tea, grow up) and is what I consider Ben Stiller’s third funny movie after “Heavyweights” 1995 and “The Cable Guy” 1996. If you think I’m crazy for putting The Cable Guy down as a funny movie over Reality Bites (both of which he directed) well the feeling is mutual, so fuck off already. Flirting With Disaster was actually directed by David O. Russel who went on to spank out “Three Kings” 1999, “I ♥ Huckabees” 2004 and “The Fighter” 2010 which are all classics in my book. The man has skill, now check out his older work. You can also watch “Reality Bites” not that I think you should and “The Fighter” both also available on Netflix Instant.
“Scarface” 1983 is the iconic film directed by the “great director” Brian De Palma who pulled the same rabbit out of the same hat when he made “Carlito’s Way” 1993. I put “great director” in quotes because B. D. P.’s collection of work is almost entirely garbage. You can look it up for yourself if you don’t believe me. He’s made a B.S. career out of shitty gangster flicks and these two happened to hit. The fact that Scarface and Carlito’s Way are idealized in rap music is sort of funny when you get through to the end of each film. I mean, things certainly look promising to the two Al Pacino drug dealers but that’s only mid way through the flicks. Not to mention that Scarface has some fucked up fantasy of marrying his sister. Either way, both films are entertaining and worth watching but man, I do not want to be Al Pacino then or now. Fuck that shit. Boom!
“Tron: Legacy” 2010. I honestly can’t stand the first Tron movie and I made it through this one, piece of cake. So I guess you know how I feel about both. I DO recommend this but only for you nerds out there.
“Big Trouble in Little China” 1986 is a John Carpenter classic. Starring Kurt Russell is the perfect martial arts comedy flick including sorcery, street gangs and truck drivers. Matter of fact, you may want to smoke a joint before watching this one if that’s your thing. It’s incredible. While you’re at it, you should catch up on other Carpenter films such as “They Live” 1988, “Escape from New York” 1981 and the original “Assault on Precinct 13” 1976.
“Mall Rats” 1995. Some people hate Kevin Smith movies and some people love them. Put yourself in the appropriate category and act accordingly. His films are dialogue heavy in the complete opposite way that Quentin Tarantino’s are but are just as unnatural and entertaining. His films spend a lot of time exploring raunchy topics through conversation often leading to mildly interesting conclusions. The good thing is that his funny movies are pretty damned funny and I think Mall Rats is one of his best. “Clerks” 1994, “Chasing Amy” 1997 and “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back” 2001 are all also available on Netflix and I do recommend all of them if you like his comic style. ”Red State” 2011 is also available on Netflix Instant but I CAN NOT recommend it. It was terrible.
“Coffee and Cigarettes” 2003 is a collection of short stories directed by Jim Jarmusch (also directed Ghost Dog: Way of the Samurai 1999)which consist of people sitting around a coffee shop drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes while having interesting conversations. What’s most amazing about this film is the list of stars who perform in each short piece. To name a few, Steve Coogan, Steve Buschemi, The White Stripes, GZA, RZA, Bill Muray, Steven Wright, Cate Blanchett, Iggy Pop, Tom Waits, etc. It’s kind of crazy having all these people in a movie together but it definitely works. It’s real quiet and slow and what I would consider an early morning movie to eat breakfast in front of. Jarmuch has a handful of movies I have not yet seen on Netflix Instant so feel free to check them out at your own risk.
Like I said, all of the above movies in italics are provided on Netflix Instant by Starz Play are going to be gone after February 28th, so you have two weeks to decide what you need to see and watch it.
